JUST CALL ME DORIS GAZ

It's peculiar, it's begining to seem that whenever I think about a band that I haven't yet had the excuse to report on the activites of, it turns out that a couple of days later I'll discover something new that they've done, and before you know it I'm struggling to find an amusing caption for their picture.

Thus, I've become aware of this MP3 of The Concretes covering The Rolling Stones' sell-out disco classic 'Miss You'. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't scream 'four-on-the-floor' at you.

It seems that my new-found and, frankly fairly useless psychic powers don't extend to me using them for destructive reasons. I've been wandering the streets in a trance-like state since my discovery focusing on the thought 'It's funny, I haven't yet had the chance to write about how u2 have split up, and Bono has been hit by a bus straight after leaving the meeting to disolve their business partnership'. So, I'm guessing that the whole me buying a cape and announcing my intention to take over the world thing might have been a bit premature.

Another thing that I seem to be seriously bereft of premonitions about is that if that I request things in the comments section, not a soul will reply. In light of that, everybody use the comments section to request the directions my thoughts should take in order to make musical stuff happen.

The Concrete : 'cos you were expecting

a picture of one of the blokes, right?

THE SMITHS DON'T REFORM

NME reports that The Smiths aren't reforming. Johnny Marr and Andy Rourke are going to play live together for the first time in 18 years at Rourke's Manchester v Cancer gig. So what the NME have done is report it under the headline of 'Smiths Reunion', which I suppose is some kind of positive affirmation for the desperate ploy.

Now, if they can just get Morrissey and Mike Joyce interested... that's the same Mike Joyce of whom Morrissey said just a few weeks ago "Ooooooh, get her! One would hope that a nine-unicycle pile-up on the A5103 might cure him of his penny-pinching once and for all. A handbag?" or something thereabouts.

So, not now, or anytime in the near future then.

Morrissey : Behaving Badly

MY PSYCHOANALYZE THIS.

Once Derby based, but now scattered-all-over-the-place-studying clog-gazers My Psychoanalyst have been back into the studio to record what is, by anyone's reckoning, a blistering new tune called 'Arseholes Are Honest' (just titled 'Honest' on their MySpace page here).

Sounding like the mini-pops in an unfortunate Vodka-Hooch-and-feeling-up-incident with My Bloody Valentine and The Pale Saints it harks back to the time when the latter two weren't afraid to kick the living shit out of their material. So, when they were good then, eh?

It's by a long chalk the best thing I've heard locally, nationally or indeed internationally for quite some time. I'd witter on here along the lines of it being interplanetary, and then make some reference to the guitars sounding as though they blitz across the cosmos but sadly, I don't work for IPC Media. Shame.

For a three-piece they make an almighty noise, and more importantly, have cheered me up considerably today. And that's what really counts.

Also on their MySpace page you'll find the older recordings of 'Cinderella' and 'Nobody Needs Us', both of which are only slightly less fantastic.

Now for photos with amusing captions, which obviously aren't really going to be of the right band.

My Psychoanalyst : The Sight of Who?

My Psychoanalyst : (l-r) Cal, Mach, Cal, Tom

My Pale Valentine : Collapsed on some indie grass
'cos they're too frail and tired.