Monday, October 10, 2005

THERE'S GONNA BE A BORSTAL BREAKOUT...

Sorry, wrong band. Currently drawing me across Waterstone's to the music section every time I go in there is the (semi auto) biography of Jeff 'Stinky' Turner, 'Cockney Reject'. Co-written by the political lobotomy that is Garry (there's nothing under this) Bushell.

Who, you ask? Jeff Turner is the singer in The Cockney Rejects, a sub-Sham 69 second/third generation UK punk rock band, the favourites of West Ham's football hooligan crowd during the late seventies/early eighties.

It's an intriguing thing. Every anecdote seems to focus on the casual violence that surrounded them - "We were well excited to be doing Top of the Pops. Nobbo punched the BBC Security guard's head off", "This was our first real tour. We punched absolutely everybody we saw".

Apparently Jeff was a talented amateur boxer before his music career. By this reasoning you might expect Marvin Hagler's autobiography to consist of a detailed index of every jab, hook and uppercut he's ever thrown, and nothing else.

It ought to offend the book's intended audience that it's printed in large type and generously spaced (I'd love to be making this up), which for some reason puts the image in my head of Garry 'Bluto' Bushell pressing his sausage-y fingers onto his computer monitor and hammering away at the space bar after typing every word.

Perhaps MOST disturbing is the foreword by Morrissey coupled with the rumour that he is working on new material with the band. I wonder if Jeff Turner understands the homoerotic appeal of the pugilist? There's gonna be a proper rumble when he finds out.

Derby Music News - NOTHING. It's a Monday.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I vaguely remember the day I first discovered the word 'bushel'. It was on a school report, and I 'hilariously' asked my dad if it was short for bus shelter.

Tom J

8:51 PM  

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